Last weekend, we packed up our bags Friday night and headed on a road trip – myself and Petar with two other friends. Our destination? Spencerport, NY and eventually the Finger Lakes. We were on the way to see our good friend from grad school, who came to Toronto to complete her degree and moved back home once she graduated. Our car ride there was a whirlwind of too much chocolate and candy, too little sleep, and too many laughs to handle.
After we got to Spencerport and settled into our friend’s apartment with her two adorable cats, it was like we never left the UofT Grad House living room. Even when we went camping the next day and when we sat around the campfire at Keuka Lake, it was like we were still lounging around on the orange pleather couches surrounded by Grad House’s concrete walls. Even when we visited multiple wineries surrounding Keuka Lake and Canandaigua Lake on Sunday afternoon, we surrounded the tasting counters like they were the kitchens at the dorms.
We gossiped about people. We drank our homemade wine. We settled into our conversations with such ease that you could easily say what you felt.
Now that most of us have graduated from grad school and live in different places, a lot has changed. We don’t live just one floor up or few doors down from each other. The effort it takes to plan get-togethers is overwhelming at times. We don’t have the flexibility of our school schedules to be able to travel on a whim or meet up earlier.
After the end of an obligatory time that throws people together with others, such as a school term or a program, what happens? What sets apart friends that stay together and friends that drift away?
What I’ve learned through this trip (that took some legwork to plan) is that friendships take hard work. To be able to settle back into those Grad House vibes meant that we had to work to make it happen. We set up polls, we picked weekends, we scouted places, we dealt with last minute changes, and more. Sometimes I got so frustrated I told myself, “Remind me never to plan something like this.”
During our trip together, we looked out on the Erie Canal, we hiked through the trails at the Keuka Lake campground, and we drove through the winding New York state highways. I realized in those moments that if you don’t put any effort into maintaining those relationships, you won’t be able to fully enjoy the experiences. It was because of our close connections that allowed us to really appreciate our surroundings and enrich our activities.
I’m already thinking about other adventures this summer. Looking ahead, I want to nurture my relationships through hard work and not get discouraged when plans change. Here’s to a summer of friendships!
Pudding and Cake 