Yesterday, I found myself in a heated debate with someone. He was having a side conversation with my fiance Petar, saying how in his home country, women wearing niqabs or burkas are required by law to show their faces. They went on to discuss how these head and face coverings are rooted in patriarchal oppression from Islamic extremists, how no woman would ever choose to wear one (eerily sounding like a certain Canadian Prime Minister).
At that point, he turned to me as if I would agree. Of course, I didn’t.
I found myself in almost an hour long, exhausting battle back and forth about women’s rights, freedom of expression, security, and everything in between. Afterwards, Petar told me that he thought at one point we would never speak to each other again.
The problem was not that he had this opinion. He is entitled to the fundamental freedom of “thought, belief, opinion and expression” (Charter of Rights and Freedoms). In fact, public opinion in Canada last year when Harper’s niqab debate rose up was strongly in favour of banning the niqab from citizenship ceremonies (side note: as the article suggests, it shouldn’t be about public opinion, it should be about individual rights and the rule of law).
It was the fact that his opinion was rooted in more troubling indicators that I couldn’t help but try to bring to his attention – with little to no success:
- “If you live in my state, you should subscribe to my rules”: Besides the fact that he’s not a Canadian citizen, he should know that under this country’s laws, everyone is “equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination.” Forcing only and all women in burkas or niqabs to show their faces or be forced to present an ID to the police sounds a bit like discrimination, doesn’t it?
- Putting people, ideas, beliefs, and everything into buckets: He seemed to think that Islam = brainwashing women, Muslims = extremists, women = helpless/unable to make choices. Islam is a diverse religion – just as Christianity has many denominations, there are many facets of Islamic belief. Muslims make up a huge portion of the world’s population, and all Muslims are not the same. Women can choose to wear head coverings of their own free will for different reasons, whether it’s a sign of religious devotion, a form of cultural expression, or a piece of fashion.
- Not checking your own privilege: He’s a well-off, educated, Catholic, young, white male. How many majorities can we check off the list?
- Having a narrow mindset: He told me at one point that I wasn’t using logic and I should “use my brain” because I wasn’t “getting his point.” Everyone has the right to an opinion, but you should also use your intellect and mind to open yourself up to other opinions with the intent to learn and grow. This is why I’m such a strong supporter of liberal education, because I think it’s valuable to be well-versed in many fields, especially the humanities: gender studies, women’s studies, psychology, sociology, religious studies, political science, history, literature, and more.
- Failing to recognize your own insecurities and fears: I told him at one point that he’s just projecting his own fears to one specific group of people. When you can’t trust that the person under the niqab is a weak, powerless woman that you imagine, then something’s got to be wrong, right? Let’s keep in mind that the world’s terrorists, criminals, and extremists can just walk right into any mall, any school, or any club with or without their faces covered.
- Treating women as objects: I never thought that it would hit so close to home for me as a woman. I’d always been proud of living in Canada and having friends around me who are feminists, who appropriately respect, appreciate, and value women. At one point he said something like, “Women under niqabs are like black ghosts…they all wear heels and fancy clothes underneath, so why would they ever choose to wear the covering.” This is something called sexual objectification. This is why the “women’s issue” and “feminism” aren’t puzzles that have been solved. We still have a long way to go.
I only hope that one day he, as well as anyone else who feels the same way, will wake up one morning, look around them, and also look within themselves. I hope they open their minds to actively listen to and learn about others to realize that things aren’t as cookie cutter as they think.
Pudding and Cake 