Wedding Planning So Far: What I’ve Learned

The widget on my phone tells me there are a little over 200 days until my wedding day. I’ve been patiently (mostly impatiently) checking this timer every day, wondering when the numbers will drop to zero. At this stage in the game, all that’s left to book is catering, and it feels like I’m doing something wrong. I should be panicking and stressed, right? Isn’t that what all brides feel like?

Throughout this process, I’ve learned a lot about the planning experience, a lot about myself, and a lot about the business of weddings. Here’s a summary of what I’ve personally learned over the past year:

Involving Your Fiance: During Thanksgiving dinner, I asked the table what was one thing each person was thankful of this year. Petar, my fiance, said that he’s thankful I’m planning the wedding. In a way, that’s true, but along the way, every time there’s a crossroads or a major decision (which photographer, what style of invitation, who to invite, etc), I’ve always been candid with him and asked for his opinion. This person will be your future spouse, so there should be a safe space for open discussion, not a fixed plan for the wedding you’ve been dreaming of since you were five years old.

Having a Longer Engagement: My countdown widget started over 500 days. Although I’ve been telling Petar almost everyday, “Let’s just elope. This engagement is way too long!” in the long run, it’s the best decision we’ve made. We had our choice of venues and vendors, because many of them were shocked that we were planning so early. This is especially true for higher demand locations, for instance Toronto, New York, or L.A. I follow a wedding group for Toronto, and people were saying that some venues were fully booked for 2017 in early or mid-2015.

Budgeting, Budgeting, Budgeting: Before we did anything (besides choosing a date), Petar and I sat down with a list of categories and wedding items/services (which I stole from lists on the Internet). I made a spreadsheet with a few columns: Budgeted Amount, Vendor Estimate, Amount Spent, Gifted Amount, and Variance:

We went through all the categories, and we searched and guesstimated the budgeted amounts based on our total proposed budget. Every time I did more research, I could adjust the budgets, keeping in mind the total costs and if they went up or down. Anytime we booked anything or received a quote, I would fill out the Vendor Estimate or Amount Spent categories. We’re lucky to have our parents step in for a few payments, so I would add that to the Gifted Amount section. The budget helps to know what you’re working towards and helps you not to overspend.

Some Thoughts Following Workplace Downsizing

Recently, my work went through a massive downsizing. In a company with around 30 people, we lost almost forty percent of our workforce. They were given working notice, which meant that we would still see their faces coming to the office, and one by one, they would leave based on their tenure. It’s incredibly awkward and strange to see your colleagues every day knowing that they’ll be leaving in a few weeks or months.

Most people, from a typical forty hour work week, see their colleagues more than their own families. As you interact with each coworker, he or she becomes part of your work family and oftentimes your friend, making it that much harder to say goodbye after all that time invested with each other.

I found that my coworkers were also experiencing a spectrum of emotions, from anger to fear to apathy to wary acceptance. It’s been a lot more difficult for some over others, as many of these colleagues have been here for over five, ten, and even fifteen plus years.

I’m grateful that my job was spared, but I don’t think it’s easier being someone who’s staying. There are so many questions that go through your head: why am I staying? Am I safe? Why did they choose me? Should I look for other opportunities? Why not him and why her? I’ve learned a few things about myself as the layoffs happened, and I hope they will carry forward in my current and future working life.

Intro: Cake

Hello blogging world! I’m excited to start this new journey in blogging, especially with my sister. We both love to write, but we’re also very busy people. We hope that together we’ll motivate each other!

I’ve always been fascinated by blogging, and since my childhood, I’ve always kept personal diaries. The only problem was that my entries turned out to be play-by-play details of my day, usually ending in woeful rants about what went wrong. While it was cathartic at times, there was never any direction or purpose. My goal for this blog is to create a free space where my sister and I can react to things that happen in our lives with the intent to learn, grow, and celebrate.

I live in Toronto, which is actually the fifth largest city in North America. I don’t think many people know this fact, which is probably why it doesn’t feel too big or too crowded. While there are pockets of corporate towers and condo monoliths, there are still plenty of independent cafes, diverse restaurants, and vibrant festivals. I won’t hide it: I love this city. It’s a living, breathing space that’s pretty special, and that’s something worth blogging about.

While I’d love to say that I’m currently pursuing the biggest dream in my life, I can tell you at this moment, I’m not. I don’t have that one ultimate dream figured out yet, and I’m just coming to terms with believing that that’s okay. I also don’t know exactly what it means to be Taiwanese-Canadian, what it means to be someone building her career, what it means to be a twenty-something year old, and what it means to be a young woman, almost a wife. I feel like those areas that are the most uncomfortable and the most confusing are the ones that are the most interesting to discuss.

Although my sister and I live very differently, we have always been very strong supporters of each other. Think of these blog posts as letters that we’re sending back and forth from across the country. We hope our readers come along for the ride!

Intro: Pudding

Hi yo! It’s my attempt at my very first blog post. I’m half of the blogging duo here at Pudding & Cake so I should start off by introducing myself.

I live in rural Saskatchewan, Canada with my husband and daughter. I don’t have a particularly exciting life, so when my sister told me: “Hey! Let’s start a lifestyle blog!” I looked at her like she grew two heads. I don’t think my life is particularly exciting, so I was skeptical of this experiment at first.

In the end she convinced me to give it a try, because one of my goals this year is to start a writing habit. I want to write every day, and when I reached my first goal of completing the first draft of my story, I sat down and went – “Now what?” This blog will give me opportunities to continue to work on my writing through another medium, to meet deadlines, and also to connect with my little sister. All fantastic reasons as to why I should least try out blogging to see if it’s for me.

What topics will I write about? I know the answer she will give me is “Anything!” but my brain can’t operate under that sort of freedom because I will be lost.

I think I want to write about finding balance. I want to write about how it’s possible to have a professional identity but also be a mom. I want to write about pursuing my dream of publication while part time and taking care of kiddo and managing a house with a husband who works shift work. I want to write about finding time to run and lift weights and also find and cook delicious food.

Life seems to be filled with things that pull us in opposite directions, but maybe not all of those forces are in opposition with each other. I think this will be fun.